Finding God in Your Family

The Christ Child’s Asleep

marykretzmann — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 22:17:28 +0000

Have a blessed Christmas –

From our family to yours…

Love in Him,

Mary & Tim

PS. Peter, in the maroon shirt, is our son…

The Christ Child’s Asleep – song by Swami Kriyananda

A Nun Grading Papers-you will definitely laugh!

marykretzmann — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 01:08:17 +0000

My Mom sent these to me – I just had to pass them along

A Nun Grading Papers- you will definitely laugh!

A Nun Grading Papers

CAN YOU IMAGINE THE NUN SITTING AT HER DESK GRADING THESE PAPERS, ALL THE WHILE TRYING TO KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE AND MAINTAIN HER COMPOSURE!

PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU’LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST.

KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN.

1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.

2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH’S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.

3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.

4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.

5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.

7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD, WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.

8. THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.

9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.

10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.

11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.

12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.

13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES..

14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.

15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.

16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.

17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.

18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.

19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.

20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.

21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.

22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.

23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.

24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY, WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.

25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.

Lovely Message

marykretzmann — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 22:20:55 +0000

I’d love to hear your comments!

Mary

When Does the Soul Enter the Body?

marykretzmann — Sat, 12 Feb 2011 00:31:19 +0000

A lot of people look for this article that I wrote some time ago – so I thought I would post it again here in this scribd form

View this document on Scribd

Beautiful Start to the New Year

marykretzmann — Wed, 29 Dec 2010 19:35:11 +0000

Paramhansa Yogananda sends his blessings on World Brotherhood Colonies out into the world. Beverly Hills, California, July 31, 1949

Please be sure to see: Celebrating the 12 Days of Christmas - at ananda.org – for many beautiful and helpful resources for families.

I am offering this “Advent for Master’s Birthday” a few days ahead of time to give you a head start. Read through it – keep it simple…I hope to write out the stories for the future because I realize most people won’t comb through the Autobiography of a Yogi looking for stories. Just jump in and wing it this year…Use the stories that come to mind..

Blessing in the New Year to you and your family,

Mary Kretzmann

PS -You can also read more on Yogananda’s birthday by clickinghere:

Birthday Of Paramhansa Yogananda – Jan. 5

Scroll down- Wait for document to load – and “click” FULLSCREEN if you want to see it full size.

View this document on Scribd

Meaning of the Lord’s Prayer

marykretzmann — Thu, 23 Dec 2010 05:10:26 +0000

Meaning of the Lord’s Prayer – by Paramhansa Yogananda

Have a blessed Christmas!

I Come in Peace – Bears Large and Small

marykretzmann — Thu, 16 Dec 2010 19:16:10 +0000

NOTE – Click on any photo to see it larger

Polar Bear: I come in peace….Unbelievable

Polar Bear: I come in Peace

Norbert Rosing ‘ s striking images of a wild polar bear coming upon tethered sled dogs in the wilds of Canada’s Hudson Bay.

The Photographer was sure that he was going to see the end of his dogs when the Polar bear wandered in.

It’s hard tobelieve that this polar bear only needed to hug someone!

The Polar Bear
Returned every night that week to play with the dogs.

May you
Always have love to share,

Health to spare,

And friends that care

I just loved this…….. ……… …

AT 120 DEGREES IN AUSTRALIA , IT WAS SO HOT FOR A WEEK THAT KOALAS

WERE ASKING PEOPLE FOR WATER. IT’S NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE.

ONE WENT TO A HOUSE TO TRY TO HIDE FROM THE HEAT AND TO GET A BIT OF SHADE AND HERE’S WHAT HAPPENED WHEN THE OWNER GAVE HIM SOMETHING TO DRINK. IT’S REALLY CUTE.

“Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened.”

Giving Thanks

marykretzmann — Sat, 20 Nov 2010 02:49:00 +0000

As this special holiday approaches, I find it helps me to help others, especially those less fortunate.

Over this past summer, some friends and I have been helping a group of widows and orphans in Kenya. Because we are a small group – we had to keep the project manageable, so we helped them to acquire some treadle sewing machines, chickens and goats to help support themselves and the children.

This can be an important way of bringing God into your family’s life, too. Below is a photo of the congregation receiving the first 2 goats.

It warms my heart knowing how these simple steps will greatly improve their lives, and this in turn makes me very grateful for the simple things in my life such as food and shelter and a loving family, and more.

If you want to read more about it, and see more photos, click here:

http://kushona.wordpress.com/category/photos/

If you feel inspired to give a little bit to help with this project, please click here: Kushona Sisters

http://kushona.wordpress.com/about/

Roses for you and your family!

marykretzmann — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 18:31:57 +0000

My friend, Liz, sent this to me..I loved it so I am passing it along…

Joy!
Mary Kretzmann

“One Rose for Unconditional Love

One Rose For Financial Wealth

One for Everlasting Happiness

Several for Success

One for Knowledge

One for Beauty, inner and outer

Many for Family

One for Honesty

And the last one for a long and healthy life

Remembering 9-11 with beautiful music by Enya

marykretzmann — Sat, 11 Sep 2010 16:44:13 +0000

Saturday, September 11, 2010

I remember the shock of 9-11…
I direct a prayer ministry and about 6 AM I got a phone call (I live in California). It was from a local carpenter I know, urgently saying, “There’s some kind of F—ing war on! – a plane just crashed into the World trade Center in New York!”

You know – that language is not in my typical prayer request – but it seemed spot-on for that day. As the days wore on I was impressed that he got the gist of it right from the very first moments – right after the first plane crashed into the tower.

May all of the families who lost someone that day be comforted and blessed….

That first morning – I didn’t have the heart to tell my kids what had happened. I don’t normally listen to morning news – so I didn’t want to break our normal loving serenity. I thought, “They will know soon enough – let’s have one more normal morning.”

And on the next day, September 12, of course life was now different. We all knew… And I understood why, for the first time, that some mothers in France or Belgium or Holland feed chocolate to their children for breakfast. Life is short, life is precious – it can change in an instant. Eat your chocolate now. Celebrate life and love and family now – at the beginning of the day…

So I fed my kids some wonderful chocolate waffles for breakfast (first time ever) …There was a feeling of redeeming the sweetness of life anyway I could… to embrace them and the precious days…each day is so precious…The chocolate is only a symbol that says “Austerity has no place in my feelings for you…I celebrate you as my children and my family…”

And now – years later – I only rarely have a chocolate waffle or crepe for breakfast and I make it with cocoa powder and with mostly stevia so it isn’t really all that decadent. But it still feels like an extravagant celebration of life and love and family – with fresh strawberries on top….

I’ve “always” been on a diet as an adult – but in the three weeks or so after 9-11 – I just didn’t care one bit about those things…

PS – I saw this video and it helped me to tap into the deep feeling to pray once again for those families and souls…But – if your children are young…there is no need to bring them into this…Instead make them a lovely breakfast, and go out and celebrate the day with love and laughter. But in your own heart – give especially deep thanks to God for another beautiful day with your family.

Remembrance – “Only Time”